Discord and Paradise
by IntoTheWilds
Summary: ONE-SHOT: Some fluffy fun on the world of a fanfiction writer with our favourite BAU team! Guest stars from Harry Potter, Twilight, X-men etc...


**_DISCLAIMER:_**_ I do not own Criminal Minds, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Twilight, Harry Potter or X-Men, or their characters!_

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE:_**_ This is some fluffy fun. I just thought it would be funny to write out what my imagination would be like, and the kinda world the fanfic characters lived in._

_Enjoy my Lovlies!_

_IntoTheWilds!_

_xxxxx_

_Also this is for Zsadist'sBitch and Zero27A.I who can always make me smile! :)_

* * *

_Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia._

**_~E.L. Doctorow_**

* * *

It was a funny place to exist, in the mind of a Fanfiction writer. It was curious, it was dangerous, it was a pretty much bizarre place to reside and it was full of winding corridors that not even the writer had ventured down, but all and all it was an adventure and a typical day for both writer and characters was rather fun.

Coffee, oh hell he really needed coffee and it was only six am! What the hell? Rolling over onto his belly Spencer Reid glared at his alarm clock. Why the hell was he awake? He had nowhere to be, no business to attend to, no—and then he heard it, the loud thrumming roar of a man's snore. With a groan Spencer rolled from bed, narrowly missing the bunk above and there was a moment of silent pin wheeling arms and mute curses as he tried not to trip over the form at his feet, one tanned foot poking free from a sleeping bag. Rolling his eyes, Spencer grimaced at a particularly loud snore at his ear and bending he retrieved his pillow, bringing it down on the top bunk occupant with a sharp thump.

The blonde came too with a yelp cracking his head off the ceiling, which in turn lead to a string of creative curses in a thick New York accent, "Nyeh! Are we under attack?"

"No you imbecile," Spencer griped, "You're snoring woke me _again _Joey Wheeler! I swear I _will_ start muzzling you!"

A muffled grunt and an Egyptian curse had the pair looking down to a very dishevelled, disgruntled red eyed teen. "Joseph, I swear by Ra, I will hurt you if this is repeated one more morning!"

"Aren't ya supposed to be a morning person Atem?" Joey retorted, "tha whole Pharaoh, thing, and bein' up at tha crack of dawn!"

Spencer dodged just in time for a pillow to sail by his head and with a shake of his head, the FBI agent left the _children_ to their antics and drifted into the hall. The sconces flickered upon the walls, the ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics as always making him smile. The world he lived in was just so strange, but it was home. As usual the kitchen was lively. Of course the occupants didn't need to sleep. Esme looked up from the breakfast she was in the middle of preparing gold eyes warm and smiled brightly.

"Morning Spencer, you're up early."

"Joey gave me little choice," answered the thirty-two year grumpily heading straight for the coffee pot.

"Again," Jasper chuckled, "isn't that the fourth time this week?"

"Fifth actually," Spencer responded with a friendly smile. Ever since he had awoken in this strange meandering world he and Jasper had been friends. Their first encounter still made him laugh of course.

_/Spencer squinted at the Vampire who had introduced himself as Jasper Hale. He was a handsome sort of fellow, even if a bit timid, standing rigidly as if terrified to move. He was also shockingly familiar._

_"You look so familiar," Spencer commented after a moment's scrutiny, "hey Morgan, doesn't he look just like...?"_

_"Whoa, dude, definitely. He could pass for his twin," Morgan frowned, or is it _her_ now?"_

_Jasper's jaw dropped ochre eyes blown wide and his expression resembling something like this: O.O/_

Of course his first memory of Edward Cullen was even funnier.

_/Spencer shrugged, "I am more the intellect for the team, I have a one eighty-seven IQ, I can read twenty thousand words per minute and I have an Eidetic memory."_

_Edward blinked, "I sparkle."/_

Smiling at the absurd memory, Spencer took his first sip of coffee and sighed in delight. It was his favourite, which could be said for everyone who resided there. It was a little privilege they possessed, any coffee or tea tasting like their favourite thanks to their esteemed leader who was about to make her grand entrance if the sudden tremble through the floor was anything to go by.

Stomping from her happy place AKA her soft friggin' bed, Emza kicked open the door reading '_Emza's Imagination'. _Merida, her irritating muse, was firmly shackled up in her room and none too happy about it, but the occupants of her brain? Not a chance in hell! Even now different shades of bunnies darted here and there representing numerous plots, which a peeved Emza ignored, and planting her delicate hands on her hips, red hair all over the place, the small woman let the room pulse with her fury.

"Have you lot _ANY_ idea what fudging time it is?!"

"Just after six am," Spencer answered matter-of-factly. He winced when Emza's fierce blue eyes landed on his person, "an outrageous time to be up I suppose."

"You suppose? AHHH! Why can you lot not get lively at appropriate times?"

By now the rest of the tenants of Emza's imagination had made their way into the kitchen, all in different stages of asleep and awake. Like Spencer, Pharaoh Atem went straight for the coffee pot. He had never desired the bitter concoction, and then he was Joey's roommate and his aversion had changed.

"Morning pretty boy," Morgan greeted the younger man earning a tight smile and a wince. Emza's latest plot idea was still burnt into his brain and Spencer didn't know how the older agent could be so casual about it all!

Of course he didn't have an eidetic memory to torture him unexpectedly.

He threw hellos to the rest of the team and everyone else. Ah crap, when did Fenrir get back? Wasn't he on lone somewhere? In honesty Spencer had hoped Emza had given him the boot, but obviously not, "hey Spencey," the werewolf purred sidling up to him, "long time no sees?"

"Not long enough," Spencer bit back. Unfortunately not picky of his conquests at all, Fenrir had enjoyed Emza's plot of pairing them together and had often suggested an off scene scenario.

"Naww, you're so, mean baby boy."

"I also know how to shoot."

Chuckling hoarsely, Fenrir took the hint and veered toward Remus in hopes of riling the Wizard to his amusement. Emza poured half a tub of sugar into her tea. Coffee probably would've done a better job of rousing her, but nose crinkling in distaste she gave that a pass. Almost breaking her neck after tripping over a plot bunny, the fiery writer took a seat at the huge round table the kitchen possessed and with a wave of her hand conjured a croissant for herself. The display still amazed some of the newer residents, but this was after all her mind and she could manipulate it to do anything she wanted.

She hadn't even taken a drink when her eyes were rolling. Atem and Harry were at it again, debating which form of magic was stronger. To her surprise, Harry pulled out his wand and intoned, "_Expecto Patronum_!" In an instant a silvery stag appeared, his hooves beating in rhythm against the tiled floor as he pranced about the kitchen. Prongs stopped obediently beside his master.

"Atem," his Hikari Yugi Motou warned, but the Pharaoh wasn't listening. A dangerous glint filled his ruby red eyes and Spencer who watched from across the room with Morgan and Garcia felt almost sorry for Harry. He had seen this trick before.

The eye of Horus blazed upon the Pharaoh's forehead, a glow spiralling from the Millennium puzzle about his neck and suddenly the room was filled with a gigantic red beast, its two mouths gaping wide, its roar deafening. Harry positively paled and with the change in his emotions, Prongs vanished. Wide eyed and stunned Hotch and Rossi exchanged looks and in almost silent agreement the two stood and emptied out their coffee, deciding too much caffeine was the culprit for their sudden loss of sanity.

Blue hues sparkling Emza enjoyed the chaos and lorded over it all with joy and disdain.

This was her kingdom.

Bored, Morgan bent and scooped up a passing plot bunny. Automatically the squirming yellow rabbit became a bunch of paper with Emza's practically allegeable scrawl covering each page. Emza didn't mind them reading her plots, in fact, she encouraged it, and she enjoyed their reactions. Coffee in hand, Morgan began reading the first few lines, choking on his beverage when his dark eyes scanned over the love interest. A deep chuckle clawed its way free until the man was absolutely shaking with mirth.

"What's so funny my chocolate Adonis?" Garcia asked curiously and when Morgan offered the plot, Garcia took it and began reading. A shocked sound escaped her followed by a fit of laughter, "Oh God! Junior G-man is gonna freak!"

With the hearing of a blood hound, Spencer's head whipped around and he practically fell over himself to get to Garcia and Morgan. Snatching the paper from Garcia, Spencer scanned the first page in under a second and his jaw dropped all colour draining. No, no! She wouldn't dare, would she?! She had paired him with...with JOEY WHEELER! With a strangled cry Spencer lunged for Pyro, tackling the mutant for his lighter and at that moment all amusement fled from Emza and she was on the genius with one furious shriek sending them both careening to the floor.

"Not my baby!"

"It has GOT to die!"

The entire kitchen both stood and sat watching the display. Taking a long gulp of his morning coffee, Logan threw a grin toward Gambit who stood beside him, tossing a deck between his hands. "Gumbo, you brave enough to part them?"

"_Merde_, y' crazy wolvie, Remy not dat foolish, one is armed and de other...well, de _femme_ be armed too and de pen is mightier den de sword!"

"I heard that!"

"Aw Emza _Cher,_ y' know I love y' femme, Y'r just t' _belle_ not t'," Remy covered quickly.

"Coward," Logan chided with a chuckle eyes locked on Spencer who was currently beneath Emza the pair grappling for the lighter that had been kicked from their reach.

Remy gave him a wicked grin, "No wolvie, smart. Remy knows de trouble dat comes if he pisses de _femme_ off and de outcome is just t' scary to risk!"

"Ha! Victory," Emza crowed springing off of the enraged Spencer laughing gleefully as the genius tore after her.

The game was so on!


End file.
